i hate animals

I hope that my disgust for our four-legged dust mops doesn’t offend to many people. BUT, I know many people out there who feel as I do! First, of all… I have allergies. Any rodent with hair sends my ass into an allergic fit. It’s not just sneezing; it’s swollen throat glands, watery eyes, and itchy throat… I think dogs are the worst on my allergies. I love the companionship you find in an animal… but I hate their nature. Animals constantly piss on everything to claim it as their own. First off… WHY!!!?? It’s like the whole reason they exist is to cover up each other’s piss scent.

Cats piss me off because they’re arrogant little pricks. “Hi, kitty kitty… you want a little pat on the head”? …. WHAM!!!! Their hidden devil claws pierce your skin and they bite into your flesh for no damn reason! I mean, they don’t even warn you. Everything’s cool on minute, then next they’re eating your ass up! I try to kick a cat when I can… If I’m somewhere and they have cats, I’m secretly waiting for the owner to leave the room for just one second, so I can take a cheap swipe at they’re cat.  

Don’t even get me started on the disgusting mess these animals make!! Dogs tear shit up when they don’t get enough attention. I’m like, “Fuck you dog! Quit ripping shit up”!

One time two puppies found their way to my front yard. I greeted them with a smile.. Because they were kinda different… by different I mean ugly. It’s hard enough being a lost starving animal… but an ugly one too. I felt sorry for them.  I fed them ONE time and they magically became MY responsibility! So, because I don’t think any creature should suffer (except cats) I decided to keep them both as outside dogs. The second night the fuckers tore up everything on my back porch!! My outdoor rug was ruined ($75), They tore a hole in two of my patio chairs ($25 each) and to top it off one of the little bastards shit on my welcome mat…. guess who fucking stepped in it when I went out to feed their little asses!! That’s right. Me.  The next day I took them to the pound.

To the ugly puppies that should have appreciated a good thing while they had it… but are more than likely getting the death needle!!!! ….. I win (Priceless)